takes a deep breath as I think of what a very very dear close friend and I just talked about a few days ago......now this isnt directed at anyone person just My expressing thoughts I would ask that E/each of Y/you stop and honestly ask Y/yourself this when asked by another do Y/you truely honestly answer or do Y/you lie Y/your ass off cause of spareing feelings....if Y/you said Y/you always answered truthly I'll say Y/your lieing .......try it for oneday to be 100%honest with E/everyone around Y/you that asks Y/you something ....and how many times do Y/you sit around and complain and bitch about something ....well get up off Y/your ass and stop whinning and complaining and bitching and move Y/your O/own life along a different path see if maybe Y/you wont be better off whats to lose ....the whinning perhaps...the complaining.....I have been told and I have to admit I have mellowed over the years .....there was a time I would snap and growl and be very heartless......well I at least said what I thought of something and as I have always said I'm not here to be in a popularity contest ....so I'm going to go back to the basic's and if asked My opinion about something and I think that what Y/you were going to do is grounds to have Y/you committed then so be it I'm not going to keep sugar coating going to say it as I see it ...Rangers Law take it or leave it ..... do Y/you wish to explore that just ask but beware Y/you maynot like the answer.....
well here is an update as to what is happening,the school is comeing to a close and now I start on the busy baseball/softball season,I have turned in My tags to WDG ,O/our daughter is getting close to bringing O/our grandaughter into the world, looks for the box of cotton balls I had hidden away as to Old for that 2am crying, but looking forward to it .....go figure guess it a grandparent thing,it's been just over a month since W/we lost O/our son-in-law ....I still find Myself looking out by the pear trees wanting to see him laying there eating all of My pears .....or flying up the lane with his tunes rattleing the windows ...Y/you nerver know how much a person touchs and makes an impression in Y/your life till they are gone .....so now My lil shadow and I just look up and smiles as he says love you daddy .....I just hope that I keep him on the right path and he grows up to make his daddy proud ........well thats about it for now ......
as I find a few quiet moments to sit and reflect the past years,I ask My self .....WHY...why didnt I ever give him a chance ? why didnt I ever give him a kind word ?why did I always see the bad and never the good ? why didnt I ever say want to come along ? why didnt I ever say thank you for the help even when I didnt ask ? why didnt I ever say you bring such love and happiness to My babygirl's life ?or why didnt I ever say you are such a good daddy ?.....Why did I only see the bad was it because you were a refection of Me when I was young ....the living life to the edge and not haveing a care in the world living only by My rules ....and not wanting you to live as I did ....why didnt I embrace you and show you I truely cared ?now all I can do is to say it upon the winds with a heavy heart and tears .....regreting it till the end but this I give you My word ...the three loves of your life I shall always love and protect with all that Iam ......know that I did love and care for you in My own way .....now fly fast and hard within the clouds My son in law as that is the way it should be..... as we all watch you from the ground with a smile
The Loss of Innocents It is early on a autumn day as she sits behind her desk papers piled upon it stacks every where as her phone rings she sighs heavily, and stops to answer it as the sounds of a busy office seems to engulf her thoughts, she returns to her task of looking over briefs when she stops and sits there dreaming of her up coming escape from her mundane life as she knows it… the day has finely come to its end as she leaves the chaos behind her heading for her vintage car of her late uncle the only family she had left as she makes her way through the busy city traffic, to her tiny apartment where only a lonely goldfish awaits her as she walks into her tiny bedroom and disrobes her suit and enters the bath for a relaxing soak she once more sighs heavily she slowly slips down within the hot steamy water and relaxes thinking about her upcoming trip to the country side to see a new client about the estate praying it goes easy and she can condensate on her own soon to be getaway, as she climbs out of the tub and the water droplets run down off her soft silky well sculptured body that she keeps hidden from view as she only sees the ugly scraggly little girl of years long past, as she covers herself with her robe she makes her way past the little gold fish and feeds it as she enters the tiny kitchen and she prepares her evening dinner of a salad and few crackers she walks back into her living room to sit and eat the evening grows on as the noises of the city seems to settle down for the moment she decides to retire for the night and goes into her bedroom, as she lays down upon her bed she grabs her briefcase and removes the file on the new client she is to meet with the next day as she slowly goes over the details of the estate she drifts off to sleep………as the new day awakens she is driving alone along lonely back two lane country blacktop road listening to the only station her radio can pickup, low raising hills start to spring up here and there and tress with canopies of golden and bright orange and yellow leaves start to close in on the landscape as she takes in all of the breath taking peacefulness and beauty, her car starts to sputter as a thick white steam covers the front of it and the engine shuts off and she rolls to a stop she climbs out of the car and sighs not now I just had you fixed she opens the hood and more hot rolling smelly steam surrounds her and the old car she looks up into the massive canopy of the trees and cries out why now, as tears stream down her cheeks she walks over to the side of the road and sits there waiting for another car or something to come up or down the road, she thinks I only have about three miles to walk but what if the directions are wrong and it is twenty miles she decides to wait it is still early when she hears a soft babbling sound off though the heavy trees a steam or brook perhaps as she decides to go and see, as she open the trunk of the car and retrieves a empty jug from it as she starts to walk into the thick grass she finds that in her heels this will only break her neck, so she tosses them into the car and sets out for the inviting babble sound as she slowly walks though the thick soft grass up though the trees she thinks about the new client and the signing of the final paper work as she crests the hill and she looks back down though the trees she stands there stunned as to where her car is she thinks did I weave to much as I climbed maybe I should have left a note letting someone know where I have gone to where is it …..she calms and brushes the fear away, it is still on the road blocked from My sight by a tree or two there is nothing to worry about, as she makes her way down the knoll and to the babbling sound she trips over a fallen rotted log and rolls down the knoll screaming, and spills into the cold water of a tranquil little brook as the jugs float away down stream coming to rest in the rounded rocks her suit skirt is ripped as is her blouse, her hair is now looking as if the wild life has made their home in it as she sits there sobbing, she sees her arms and legs have cuts and scrapes on them and bleeding from them, has she thinks oh I’m such a mess and so unprofessional of Me I should have rented a newer car the client is going to take one look at Me and say,……. Has she sits there sobbing and bleeding and worrying about the whys and how’s and what ifs, she slides up onto the muddy bank of the brook and crawls up over the side into the cool soft grass and lays down closeing her eyes and sobbing, when a dark shadow covers her entire body and her head is lifted up off the cool grass, when all of a sudden a looped barbed wire lasso is wrapped around her neck and she is being dragged along behind, as her hands are clawing and pulling at the barbed lasso, screaming at the unknown person that is dragging her though the grass and trees as she fights to breath … They come up onto a cobbled stoned massive structure the figure kicks open the double doors and pulls her within, across what seems to be the main great room and down darken corridors and passages filled with a smell of death as she kicks and twists screaming and pleading to the figure gasping for air, down the cold hard stairs they go where the only light comes from small torches along the stair case down to where she knows only death awaits as she passes out, as the fog slowly fades from her aching bleeding body she slowly tries to open her eyes only to see darkness and the smell of years of pain and torment and emptiness, she cant move her wrists are held fast her legs are spread wide and held just as fast to something hard and moldy as she is no longer dresses, she smells the slightest hint of leather soaked with blood and decay as she jerks her arms and legs and head to try and free her self she screams out ,helppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp Me god please someone helpppppppppppppppp Me only to hear a evil laugh scream all you wish as there is no help for you only pleasure and pain and then, as she hears a loud hissing sound and the sharp deep bite of a whip cutting deep across bare breasts as the tip cuts into her nipple she jumps and cries out again, only to hear yes you whore cry out louder as again the whip hisses out from darkness and bites into her once lovely cheek and cuts into her ear and ripping her earring away and then again laying a deep bite across her bare belly and she screams out is pain only to be answered by a cold dark sadistic evil laugh, as the whip once more comes out of the darkness and lays another long deep cut along her mound and thighs she jerks more pulling against what has her held yet to no avail can she run her screams fill the dungeon, as the whip sudden bites once more across the other side of her face the tip ripping into her skin again laying open a deep cut the evil voice says that’s it you sweet little whore you cry, as the deep evil voice comes close to the leather hood which covers her eyes and whispers don’t you so love a good fuck you bitch as something hot is slammed deep into her cunt and starts fucking her and ripping her once innocents away from her as a tongue slides along her bleeding nipples and teeth bite down around one and pulls at the daggling nipple and rips it from her body as she screams out louder, as the hot rod is now fasten in place and the deep sadistic voice fades and she hangs crying out please please why what have I done, as suddenly her body jerks from the wooden cross that holds her tight as electricity is pouring though her from her once virgin pussy as she jerks wildly from the electricity pouring into her on and off on and off again the deep voice just laughs, then it stops and she hangs there once more grasping and sobbing as the barbed wire cuts into her neck as it is twisted tighter then she feels the blood spilling from the cuts upon her naked flesh as a cold sharp blade cuts down from her breasts to her slit long deep cuts like stripes being cut into her once more she cries out and begs pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, yet once more her body is jerked from the wooden cross by the electricity that pours into her swollen bleeding cunt as the electricity seems to be fucking her as the blade cuts away at her body she passes out once more from the pain that is over taking her, as she is awaken by a hard deep kiss from the darken figure that has her captive her body bleeding as she moans from the tongue that is being pressed into her mouth as she tries to press harder into the kiss, she whispers please I beg you please give Me more love Me more I beg you as she slides her tongue into the figures mouth to explore and is bitten in half as the evil dark laugh returns and the bite of the whip returns and the voice says yes My little slut ………………………………............As she flies up out of a deep sleep by the sounds of the night …………..her body drenched with sweat as it glistens from the street light out side, she sighs heavy it but was a dream The End ..................................or is it a dream
slavery is not about suffering . . . . . . slavery is about service. slavery is not about humiliation . . . . . . slavery is about humility. slavery is not about pain . . . . . . slavery is about being present. slavery is not about being used . . . . . . slavery is about being of use. slavery is not about control . . . . . . slavery is about letting go. slavery is not about what is done to you . . . . . . slavery is about what you do for others. slavery is not about abuse . . . . . . slavery is about acceptance. slavery is not about proving anything . . . . . . slavery is about being real. slavery is not about contempt . . . . . . slavery is about respect. slavery is not about how you look . . . . . . slavery is about how much you care. slavery is not about denying yourself . . . . . . slavery is about being open. slavery is not about bondage . . . . . . slavery is about freeing your spirit. slavery is not about punishment . . . . . . slavery is about discipline. slavery is not about being unable to escape . . . . . . slavery is about being committed. slavery is not about submission . . . . . . slavery is about obedience. slavery is not about fear . . . . . . slavery is about trust. slavery is not about sex . . . . . . slavery is about love. slavery is not about pleasure . . . . . . slavery is about happiness.
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
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